Literally and figuratively, my workplace is falling apart

Literally: An unknown substance (water? urine? liquid nitrogen?) gushed through the library ceiling, frying a computer and two printers and forcing the librarians to evacuate. On the upside, some quick-thinking soul rescued the editorial fax machine, which stopped working in, oh, I'll be generous and say mid-2002.

Figuratively: For years I've been plotting to usurp my boss. And suddenly, it happened, although I don't think him taking a job in a different office qualifies as a coup on my part. I exchanged many, many e-mails with co-workers about what would be different with me in charge. And then, two weird things happened.

One, I found myself in charge. And I started freaking out. There's no one to backstop me now. The difference between order and chaos, success and failure, is me. Some moments, I feel ready. Other moments, I long for a job that involves nothing more complicated than filing.

Two, I made an astonishing discovery. After clashing with my boss repeatedly on every conceivable topic, I thought I'd be thrilled to see him go. But no: I realized he'd become my nemesis. And I need a nemesis. What would Holmes be without Moriarty? Superman without Lex Luthor? Seinfeld without Newman? How could this have happened? (Chuck Klosterman explains the nemesis thing far more eloquently here.)

Or, to botch another analogy, he's the Benson to my Stabler. And if you think I have that analogy backward, on account of genders, you don't know my bawling-over-"Beaches" boss. That might be the better analogy. We disagreed, often and sometimes volatilely, over tactics, ideologies, etc., but we made each other better. And I find myself kinda missing him. Unlike Benson, whom I don't miss at the moment.

(And, like Stabler, I'd really enjoy grabbing a few people by the lapels and shoving them into walls when talking just doesn't do the trick. Unlike Stabler, I'm fazed by the possibility of civil litigation.)

P.S. You think I'm joking about the urine thing? I wish I were. Sewage has leaked through our ceiling several times. Also used water from an improperly sealed shower. Yes, there's a shower on the floor above ours. No, I don't know why.