Saturday, June 24, 2006

8 a.m., EDT

My next-door neighbors got a puppy while I was gone. He's a cute little thing, black, appears to be mixed breed. His hobbies include barking as well as barking, and in his spare time he enjoys barking.

If there's a master list somewhere of People Who Need A Dog Like They Need A Hole In The Head, surely these neighbors are near the top.

And on the other side of my house, Mr. King and I have a difference of opinion on the correct time of day to use a weed-whacker, with me being firmly in the Not At 7 a.m. camp.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Delayed reaction, or Russell Crowe is my neighbor

I wrote this while I was in Sydney, but never got around to posting it. I'm too lazy to write anything today, so I'll just toss you some leftovers:

When I was about 8, my parents announced their intention to spend their tax refund on a trip to Australia to see my mom’s longtime pen pal, Sandy, who lives in Melbourne. I was day-before-my-birthday-look-at-all-those-presents excited for it.

Then I came home one day to find our hideous striped sofa replaced by a hideous loveseat-recliner combo, and, to add insult to aesthetic injury, that the tax refund had been spent on the rust-and-orange horror.

I’ve been bitter about it ever since.

This week, I’m exorcising that childhood demon, as well as crossing off number 3 on my all-time Places To Visit list.

Upon arriving in Australia, my first action was that of any traveler setting foot in a land she’d waited two decades to see: laundry.

See, it turns out, there’s a few drawbacks to life in the lap of luxury – namely, you can’t do anything for yourself. Want to quickly spot-iron a shirt? You can’t! Housekeeping will be happy to take care of that for you, ma’am. (For $10.) Coin-op laundry is for the hoi polloi at Super 8. So the hoi polloi arrived in Sydney with no clean pants.

That chore out of the way, surely I headed into the outback or something, right? Uh, no, actually, I took a nap. Red-eye flights are great if you can sleep on planes. I can’t. Especially after eating a meal that was half a notch above MRE quality and that made me violently ill sometime in the netherworld of plane-night. A flight attendant gave me two red caplets in a blister pack with kanji and the word “forte.” That means “strong” in French, but Koreans have a habit of attaching random Western words to their advertising (the slogan for a popular Samsung cell phone is “Digital exciting”). Feeling a bit like Alice in Wonderland, I took the pills, and they did help. Sort of.

Reason number 876 I’m glad I’m not a celebrity is that I tend to fall apart when I travel. Not mentally, but appearance-wise, I start out dressing for comfort and minimal stripping at security, and steadily deteriorate from there, getting grubbier and stringier-haired until I arrive looking like I slept in a dumpster. I’d be a regular fixture on worst-dressed and “don’t” lists.

My point is that I arrived in Sydney disheveled, exhausted, cold and nauseated, and Down Under was starting to feel like more of a hassle than an adventure. So: shower; sleep; get maintenance guy to fix heat in room. He’s the one who told me about Russell Crowe.

I took Lonely Planet’s advice and paid a little more for a room with a harbor view, and it was 100 percent worth it. As I write this, I’m looking out over downtown Sydney, and the harbor, and even in winter it’s breathtaking. Directly across from me is Finger Wharf, and at the end of the wharf is an apartment building whose penthouse is home to Gladiator Man himself. (And lest you think the maintenance guy was pulling my leg, LP also mentions this fact, as did this morning’s Sun-Herald, which breathlessly reported that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughan had tea there last week.) The penthouse is almost level with my room. I could make obscene gestures to him, but I’m not gonna. He probably couldn’t throw a cell phone (or mobile, as Aussies call them) this far, but I’m not taking any chances.

Wow, this post is really starting to ramble. Last topic, I promise.

I had an excellent dinner at the cafĂ© adjoining the historic State Theater, and my stomach finally settled down. And then I watched “An Inconvenient Truth” at the Sydney Film Festival.

Holy. Cow. If you don’t get sick to your stomach seeing the disappearance of Lake Chad, or the rapid melting of Greenland, or the horrific projections of rising sea levels and subsequent flooding, then you’re … Bush, I guess.

Watch it. I’m serious. And remember it next time you vote.

It was interesting to watch a movie that inherently is about American politics surrounded by non-Americans. Hundreds of people packed the theater; I couldn’t tell how much that had to do with their interest in seeing a documentary starring an increasingly jowly former U.S. vice president, and how much had to do with it being a film festival selection, but I can’t imagine any showing at the Landmark E Street drawing that crowd. The Aussies laughed heartily when Gore took a jab at the current administration, and roared in angry disapproval when he mentioned that only two advanced nations haven’t signed the Kyoto Protocol – that would be, of course, the U.S. and Australia. Everyone heartily applauded the movie, and exited griping about John Howard.

Russell Crowe, Al Gore and bad airplane food, all in one post – where else but TFA are you gonna get that?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

You guys ever hear of this thing called soccer?

Sydney is CRAZY today over football, as they call it. Last night, Australia's team scored its first World Cup victory in 32 years by beating Japan. Crazy thing is, that doesn't even send them to the second round of the playoffs -- I think they still have to play Brazil to move on, or hope Brazil ties or loses to another team. I don't really understand the terminology I've been hearing all around me today.

Last night I wanted to find a good place to watch the match, which started at 11 p.m. (of course, what better time to start a sporting event?), so I took the bus into the city and ended up at Circular Quay (pronounced key), which is sort of equivalent in DC to Union Station. Actually, it's probably equivalent in every U.S. city to Union Station -- they all seem to have one. Anyway, some firm had set up a giant TV screen and about 3,000 people jammed a square to watch the game. I watched for a while, but nothing happened, and I thought, see, this confirms what Americans think -- this is the second-most boring sport in the world. (Cricket being the first.)

Also it's winter here, and though the days have been warm, it gets darn cold after the sun goes down. So I went home.

Turns out, after I left, Japan scored, and then Australia scored three goals in the last 8 minutes to win. I'm kicking myself now for having left, and missed the crazy celebrating downtown, but who knew soccer could be interesting?

Today is my last day in Sydney -- I'm so sad! I've been trying to cram in as much as possible, both to get a good feel for the city and to write a travel article on how to see Sydney in two days. This morning I took the train to Bondi Beach, which surprisingly was only two stops away. The weather was gorgeous -- it must have been 70 degrees, but I don't know because I can never remember how to convert C to F. I rolled up my pant legs, waded in the surf and asked a hunky lifeguard to take my picture. Just as he did, a huge wave came up behind me and soaked me from the waist down. I sunned myself on some nearby rocks like a lizard for a while, trying to dry off, and realized going to the beach first thing had been a mistake -- I didn't want to leave. I finally dragged myself away, still looking like I'd declined to use the public toilets and paid a heavy price, but my pants eventually dried. After about 6 hours.

I had a vague plan to go to the zoo today, but since most of my time in Melbourne will be about animals -- I'm going to the aquarium and to an island where you can pet kangaroos, see koalas and watch a penguin parade -- I instead took a ferry across Sydney Harbor to a harborside shopping/dining/deck complex and just soaked up the sun. Yesterday was my big tourist day -- I went to the Opera House, took a bus tour of the city, etc. I'll write about all that later. Oh yeah, and I have a couple of posts I put on my laptop but haven't been able to get online to post yet -- Sydney isn't quite down with the WiFi revolution yet. (I don't have my laptop with me now, or I'd post them.)

Also today I picked up the gorgeous opal ring I bought yesterday. I'll post a picture, when I can recharge my camera battery.

I gotta plug my camera for a minute. It has a weird super-futuristic battery that makes the camera very small but also very expensive. I was reluctant, but the guy at the store talked me into it, and now I'm so glad. My last camera needed new AA batteries about every other day. I've been using this one for four weeks and the battery just started dying today. Fujifim Finepix. I highly recommend it.

Australians seem to have latched onto America's worst music. Everyplace I've gone, they've been playing '80s pop -- even the Queen Victoria Building, a super-upscale, sedate shopping center, had "Thriller" on its Muzak today. And there's no thought to matching song theme with store theme -- I ate in a steakhouse tonight that was playing disco. Huh?

Last night, for dinner, I wandered into a place advertising kangaroo pizza. Awesome! I was way psyched to try it, but they bait-switched me -- the pizza was gone, so instead I had panfried dory (the kind of fish Ellen DeGeneres voiced in "Finding Nemo). It was delish, but still I'm sad about the kangaroo pizza.

My Internet cafe hour is almost up, so I'll try to resume the blog tomorrow ...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Day 12: Hooray for happy accidents

My arrival in Korea was not auspicious -- I was supposed to be staying at the military-owned Dragon Hill Lodge, but despite three conversations in D.C. that went like "Are you sure I have lodging in Korea?" "Yes, definitely," they didn't have a reservation for me.

Tragically, the mixup has forced me to stay instead at the five-star Grand Hyatt Seoul. I'm in no mood to cast blame right now, mostly because I'm lounging in a fluffy robe and slippers on the pristine white down comforter blanketing the most comfortable bed ever.

I am never coming home, btw.

I've spent the past two days touring bases in Korea -- cool for me, but not too exciting for anybody reading this. Tomorrow, though, I get to tour the DMZ. So I should have more to write tomorrow. If I bother to get out of bed.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Day 11: Now live from Korea

First off I have to issue a clarification -- I spoke too soon regarding chopsticks. I tried to use them Monday at lunch with a Navy commander and failed miserably. (After boasting to everyone at the table that I'd mastered them.) And then I got to Korea yesterday, where they use thin metal chopsticks that cause hand cramps.

Before I start on Korea, I have to backtrack to Tokyo because I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO MENTION THE TOKYO ROCKABILLY CLUB!! Of all the craziness at Yoyogi Park, these guys were my favorite.

Picture: a half-dozen Japanese guys, with pompadours, sunglasses and outfits swiped from the T-birds' dressing room on the "Grease" set, strutting their coolest greaser moves as Japanese rockabilly blares from a very bad boombox. They also did some American songs, including a re-creation of the "Greased Lightning" dance number.

And they do this every Sunday.

You can see why I'm stunned I forgot to mention it. And why I totally want to live in Tokyo now.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Day 8: I've mastered chopsticks!

My inability to use chopsticks (hashi) has been a source of great amusement to my co-workers here. People kept trying to explain, and while I understood what they said, I couldn't put it into practice. It was like driving a stick shift -- I knew on paper how to do it, but the execution was disastrous.

And then, yesterday, we stopped for tapas and drinks, and suddenly I got them in the right position and everything people had told me just clicked. Bring on the sticky rice!

That triumph was just one small piece of an amazing day. Stacy, Sid, Geoffrey and a New Zealander named Mark took me to Yoyogi Park, where the goth teens and the harajuku girls hang out on Sundays. I'm hoping to have better Internet access in Korea, so I can post photos, because words simply cannot do justice to the bizarreness that is Yoyogi Park on a Sunday. People were roller-skating, playing soccer and frisbee, praticing martial arts, and walking little dogs. (Everyone here has little dogs.) Also they have a bunch of bands playing, all set up about 50 feet apart, so it's hard to tell what music is coming from what band. Some of them were quite good, especially the group wearing yellow Tony Orlando and Dawn costumes. And we passed an Australian guy who apparently had been bribed/cajoled/forced into singing with a Japanese band and was begging passing English-speakers to take over for him. (We left him in his misery.)

Then we had the aforementioned tapas and drinks. I got shochu (a kind of flavorless alcohol, kind of like vodka) in passionfruit juice. Yummy! I'm not accustomed to being drunk at 3 p.m., but hey, it's vacation, right?! (sort of)

Next up: Kiddy Land, a five-story tower of the strangest toys imaginable. Yes, I got some souvenirs. :)

After an hour or so of that, Mark was hungry again, so we headed to Shibuya for Indian food. And then Sid took me to Loft, a super-cool department store (thanks for the tip, Sharon!) where I bought the most awesome clock ever which absolutely will not fit in my luggage. I guess I'll just mail it to myself.

Mark's an interesting guy. He's lived in Japan for eight years, but has learned about as much Japanese as I have. He re-enlisted in the Australian military last year, and somehow left them with the impression he was fluent. So now he has a year to learn Japanese. He's taking lessons from Sarah, who I'll write about later (I have a lot to catch y'all up on!)

I'm off to Yokosuka Naval Base today ... I'll try to post tonight.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Totally lost track of days now

Hey blogosphere! Sorry I haven't posted in a while; too busy having crazy adventures.

I'm off to sample Japanese Denny's, and then to a baseball game, but I'll catch you up on the past couple of days tonight. Promise.

I haven't had a chance to upload my photos yet; it didn't occur to me not everyplace has Wi-Fi. I should have guessed that a place that has the word "Barracks" in its name wouldn't, though.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Day, um, 4? -- I could get used to this

This morning I enjoyed a traditional Japanese breakfast of ... Burger King.

Let me back up and explain ... one of the points of my trip (believe it or not, I really am here to work) is to see some of the bases we cover. So last night I rode with Stacy to Yokota Air Base, and got a first-hand look at her atrocious commute (housing for married DOD cvilians is at Yokota, about a 90-minute drive from our office). Geoffrey grilled steaks for dinner, and it almost felt like we were back at their former apartment in Arlington. Except for the crazy Japanese show on the TV.

I was put up in another DOD-owned hotel, Kanto Lodge. Unlike Hardy Barracks, which has a free continental breakfast, Kanto didn't offer food, so I had to forage on the base. At first I was supremely annoyed -- I didn't fly 15 hours to eat crummy American food -- but then I told myself that since I never eat BK at home, I could consider it foreign and exotic.

In the morning, Stacy took me on a tour of the base, which really is a self-contained small city, and then I met the base's public affairs officer.

I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do -- I never meet people for work! Two days of meetings, that I understood perfectly. But it went fine (I think).

Irony: back home, I have to get up at 6 for work, and it takes a tremendous amount of willpower -- I'm always still tired and craving more sleep. Today, when I could have slept until noon, I was wide awake at 5:45, just like I have been every day so far.

It doesn't help that the sun comes up insanely early in Japan. I woke up at 4:45 my first night and it was broad daylight out.

So, I don't really have any adventures to report, but it was nice to relax last night. And to go to bed before midnight.